heart is calling for you..

just because i'm hurt it doesn't mean that i'm the only one that hurt so much.
this heart is broken, deeper & hurt more, and i don't know how the best way to fix it.
while seeing your smile i'm smiling,
while seeing you laugh i'm flying,
while seeing you happy, i must be happy too.
but when i can't see you, i'm crying...

probably i'm weak, but i'm trying to be strong.
probably i'm cry a lot, but i still can get back up.
probably i'm physically just all right, but mentally i was broken down.
it's really hard to control my emotion, i tried, but most of it i failed,
it's only you that i need, only you who can calm me down, only you who can raise me up and smile again.
i just cannot live easily without you..i need you so much.
i wish you were here..hold my hands and lean on your shoulder.
but i seem can't ask that much..
just to meet you & happy together is enough.

just for the sake fulfill your biggest wish, that we have to move on.
i keep struggling, with all of my strength, even sometimes with tears.
just for the sake keeping you stay.
i can't lose you.. :(

you may far away, but my heart is calling for you every seconds we're apart.
i may not being selfish just to keep you only mine, because your heart in already torn in two.
i love you, you love me, you love her, and she loves you too.
am i too selfish to wish that your love should be only for one heart?
i think i do...

in this circumstances, i just can't ask more.
I must understand if she needs you more than i do.
I have to understand if you finally choose her rather than me.
I have to prepare myself just for sake keep your wish that i have to be strong.
even i know that actually i only wish you to lean on.
Hope God will give us our best.
your happiness will slowly cure my wounds.

i only have choice to keep strong
keep support you, love you in my own way,
i still stand by you, i promise i will never leave like others.
i may not perfect, but i have sincere love, and i'm trying not to ask any return.
i still stay. i'm faithful. i love you forever...S
i can't ask more than just hope you stay...

guilty

Many times i made my fault,
many times i made you sad.
many times i made you mad.
this time I really sorry for what i did.
I can't forgive myself if you cannot forgive me.
so silly, but it's true.
you may need time,
away from me & my imperfectness.
I realize that I cannot do the best for you.
But you know..
I've tried. I've hurt. I've struggled.
I'm not perfect, but I am trying to be better.
Please forgive me..
I'm gonna fix all of this mess.
we will keep together fighting till the end.
I promise, I will stay here, beside you.
I won't leave..
I will be waiting until you come back here.
Be my best supporter, be my toughest partner.
be my dearest sibling.
I know I cannot hope more to be your anything.
But I wish that we can still there for each other.
We changed, to a better future.
You're always be my spirit, you're my biggest strength.
Through the day, I'm so sorry..

i miss you

when i miss you..
i mean it.
even we've said goodbye each others, 5 minutes later i suddenly miss you more.
good bye is never easy for me.
i tried a lot not to bother you, but i thought that i always failed :(
i need you, i miss you, i am longing for you...
i miss you a lot but i don't know how to express it.
i know this feeling may not important for you.
you can imagine anything about me.
yes i'm weak, without you.
yes i'm scared, to lose you,
yes i can't go on without you.
all i can do is i keep sincere, i am true, i will always love you.
with all my heart, with all my soul,
you are my everything..
even we're far, even we're can't be together.
all i need is you to be happy.
with, our without me..
it's all about loving you S.

New Beginning

Aku hidup dengan biasa saja, sebelum bertemu kamu.
Tapi pada hari itu, aku bertemu seseorang yang baru.
Seseorang yang berbeda dengan yang lain. yang menonjol, bersinar di mataku.
Seorang yang unik dan tidak mudah ditebak.
dan akhirnya kitapun menjadi teman.

Kesan pertamaku tentangmu, tidak ada yang spesial.
Kamu pemalu dan pendiam.
Tak banyak kalimat yang keluar dari bibirmu, kamu juga jarang tersenyum.
Hanya saja, entah mengapa begitu besar ketertarikanku ini padamu.
Sejauh rasa penasaran yang memburuku untuk ingin lebih dekat denganmu.
Rasa itu, aman disampingmu, nyaman didekatmu.
Juga ingin melindungimu, membahagiakanmu, & melihat senyummu setiap hari.

Seiring waktu berjalan segalanya terasa bertambah indah.
Semakin akrab, semakin dekat.
Aku merasakan keterikatan yang tak kentara, tapi begitu kuatnya.
Aku memiliki seseorang yang selalu bisa membuatku tersenyum dan senantiasa bersemangat.
Dan kamu juga memiliki seseorang yang bisa kamu andalkan, disaat dunia tak memihak padamu.
Aku selalu ingin mendukungmu. Kamu semangatku. :)